How do I start a blog again? It’s been so long I forget. If you’re here and reading this, I feel like I want to be polite and greet you properly, so… hello.
Yesterday I had to sit through two meetings at work first thing in the morning. The first one started an hour earlier than I usually come in and since it’s up to me to set everything up, I had to actually arrive an hour and a half earlier than I normally do. I won’t even go in to the amount of planning and preparation it takes for me to disrupt my very detailed, very precise schedule in the morning. Yeah, it’s that much.
These meetings. Corporate. Fucking. Malarkey. I’m not sure it’s possible for any more smoke to be blown up such a room full of asses. Then again, the Presidential Debate happened last night, so I bite my (typing) tongue. Why do we live like this? I’m not going to answer that now, but I’ll get in to this question later. Ok, so… these meetings. The first one was certainly a lot of blah blah blah about things I already don’t remember and won’t work too hard to bring myself to even try. I don’t want to sound SO cynical, but I’m a glass half empty type of gal when it comes to certain things. When it comes to anything corporate related, we can just go ahead and empty that glass completely. When the second meeting was about to begin, I immediately softened a bit because one of the ladies presenting it was a little white-haired nun… the type of lady you see and wish she was your Grandma or hell at my age I guess Mom even. Haha… nooooo, I’m not THAT old. Just warm and inviting and probably a real good hugger. A whole lot of…
WAIT! OMG, DID I SAY “HELL” IN THE SAME SENTENCE THAT I’M TELLING YOU ABOUT THE NUN? Fuck, I’m sorry. Fuck, I just typed “fuck”! What is wrong with me!? I’m sorry again. I don’t know who I’m apologizing to, but from what little I do know about it all, I know they must hear me.
Ok, where was I? Oh, yes, the lovely little nun. The button nosed, pursed lips, whited haired little package of enormous proportions. Obviously filled with an endless supply of forgiveness and compassion. She was the real deal. Anyway, I softened immediately and was ready to give her my full attention. Then the other lady started talking and I was an emotional stone again, my attention swiftly flying right out the window just like all the smoke the corporate presenters from the meeting before took with them when they left. I tried hard to focus. She spoke of another one of our company’s locations, 90 acres of beauty where you can see fox and deer frolicking about amongst the lush greenery. Did I mention we work in the city? Look out of our windows and all you see is concrete, poverty, gang banging, shootings, drug deals… I suppose it could be beautiful in it’s own way. Survival y’all. Just in a different setting. Who am I to judge. It didn’t feel right though… her standing there with her airy talk about all the things so lovely.
More blah blah blah and then my Grandma, I mean the nun started talking. I listened. Finally someone who spoke in a real way about real things. I won’t go into all of what she said, but I’ll touch instead on what I took from it. In a nutshell, the topic was the “Spark” we all have inside of us. This is what brings me back to my question from earlier, “Why do we live like this?” I should rephrase, “Why do I live like this?” I don’t live a bad life. I live an amazing life actually. I’m sure even my nun would review my life and consider me to be very blessed. Internally though, I’ve buried my “Spark” in everything around me that has made my life so blessed. This is where things will get confusing and if I haven’t lost you already, I’m sure I will. I can’t even guarantee that I’ll be able to follow what I’m saying.
I spent a good 10 minutes just sitting here staring at the screen trying to figure out how to put into words what I want to say now, BUT my blessed life is calling. That about sums it up.